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How to cultivate emotional intelligence in leadership and employees alike

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It’s become clear to top managers and human resources (HR) professionals that emotional intelligence in both leaders and employees is critical to a successful, high-performing workplace. Today, it’s actually one of the most sought-after qualities in new hires.

In this blog, we’ll discuss:

  • What we mean by emotional intelligence
  • Why it matters to your business
  • How you can cultivate emotional intelligence in your workforce

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (sometimes referred to as “EQ” as an abbreviation) is the ability to:

  1. Understand one’s own emotions and self-regulate these emotions in different scenarios.
  2. Understand the emotions of others – and the reasons behind those emotions – so that they can interact more easily with others.

As you can see, there’s an internal and external component to emotional intelligence.

People who exhibit high emotional intelligence tend to be:

Self-aware. Evaluating oneself can be an unpleasant task, but it’s important for growth and development. It’s also critical to have an idea of how you can come off to others so you can be mindful about your words and actions and prevent any unintended consequences.

Confident. Being able to evaluate yourself objectively and identify shortcomings, as well as a plan of action to improve these issues, can naturally imbue you with a sense of assuredness. Control of oneself equals confidence.

Mature. These people can manage their emotions in healthy ways, control impulsive behaviors and accept constructive criticism.

Resilient. They demonstrate greater flexibility and adaptability to change.

Empathetic. They can understand the perspectives of others and why they might feel and act the way they do, which guides their own actions, improves their relationships with others and aids in finding compromises and solutions to conflicts.

Socially adept. They can read others’ cues and body language, and pick up on what is being said as well as what’s left unsaid. This informs their communication, rapport building and relationship and conflict management.

A few major misconceptions that persist

The most common misconception about emotional intelligence: People are either born with it or not.

Consider this: Studies show that only about 10 to 15% of employees exhibit self-awareness. If it were true that people have to be born with emotional intelligence, most workplaces would be in big trouble!

The reality is, people can develop their emotional intelligence. Like any other competency, it’s a skill that can be nurtured over time in those to whom it doesn’t come naturally.

Another misconception: Extroverts dominate in emotional intelligence.

Actually, emotional intelligence has nothing to do with extroversion or introversion. Both types of personalities can display emotional intelligence. It just may come easier for extroverts who already enjoy interacting with others more frequently.

Why emotional intelligence matters at work

How, exactly, is emotional intelligence important in the workplace?

You could make the argument that emotional intelligence is everything. It impacts:

  • Positive team dynamics and relationships with colleagues.
  • How people interact with each other and the overall culture.
  • The functionality of meetings, group events and team projects.
  • The effectiveness of networking.
  • The size of your circle of professional contacts.
  • The success of customer relationships.
  • The success of mentor-mentee relationships.
  • The success of manager-direct report relationships.
  • Selection for new opportunities.
  • Career advancement.

It all boils down to whether people like being around you and like the way you make them feel.

After all, work is all about building relationships. No one functions as an island – we all rely on the cooperation and input of others. No one advances in an organization without the approval and support of others either.

To get ahead, each person in an organization should strive to make others feel:

  • Heard and seen
  • Understood
  • Accepted
  • Included
  • Respected and valued

If you’re in a leadership position, your display of emotional intelligence – particularly the characteristic of empathy – can make or break employee engagement and retention. How you engage with employees, from one-on-one meetings to performance reviews, sets the whole tone for your team and impacts the employee experience probably more than any other factor. It can build trust, or destroy it. Remember the old adage that people don’t leave companies, they leave (insensitive and unpleasant) bosses?

Emotional intelligence also influences work output and productivity. According to The Human Performance Journal, 90% of high performers in the workplace also happen to possess high emotional intelligence. It’s no coincidence – these people are often:

  • More collaborative, so they benefit from the support and ideas of others.
  • Open to other perspectives, which makes them more innovative and less susceptible to groupthink.
  • More intuitive – they can “read the room.”
  • Considerate of the needs and concerns of multiple stakeholders.
  • Less impulsive and more purposeful in decision-making.
  • Better able to manage stress.
  • Self-correcting because of their self-awareness.

Challenges with promoting emotional intelligence

More workplaces have embraced remote work and hire employees distributed across the U.S. As this trend continues, emotional intelligence has become even more critical.

When we’re separated from others and primarily communicate via electronic means, many of the social interactions – those vital opportunities to read others’ cues, hear tone of voice and engage in spontaneous, face-to-face conversations – that we used to rely upon during the workday are significantly lessened, if not removed entirely.

Practice tips for fostering emotional intelligence within remote teams to help mitigate the potential for this competency to diminish.

Furthermore, younger Millennials and Generation Z are the future of the workplace. Yet, this is the age group that tends to struggle most with emotional intelligence. This is largely owed to:

  • Their reliance on technology (text, IM, social media and email) as their primary means of communication for most of their life.
  • Their entry into the workforce during the COVID-19 pandemic, which means many of them have never experienced a traditional, fully on-site workplace and the extensive practice at social interactions that come with it.

Business and HR leaders will need to pay particular attention to developing this competency in younger employees.

How to take emotional intelligence from concept to action

Here are some practical steps you can take right now to enhance your own emotional intelligence, as well as throughout your workforce, and proactively overcome the challenges we’ve raised.

1. Coach people to practice self-awareness

Conducting a self-assessment can be awkward and even painful – but, as we’ve explained why, it’s necessary to understand your own self and figure out how to improve and better control the aspects of yourself and your emotions that need work.

Remember, you’re not always right and you don’t always have all the answers. A little humility goes a long way.

2. Pause before speaking or reacting

If a colleague says or does something that angers you, take a healthy pause. Maybe even wait until the next day to continue the discussion.

This is so you avoid:

  • Jumping to conclusions or making false assumptions about what the other person intended.
  • Letting negative emotions guide your response.
  • Saying or doing something that would be counter-productive to that relationship and potentially escalate conflict.

During the pause, you can consider the other person’s position and the why behind their actions.

3. Consider others’ perspectives and feelings

In any interaction with others at work, stop to ask yourself these types of questions:

What is the reason underlying this person taking this action or making this statement?

Why does this person think a certain way?

What is going on in this other person’s personal life or workload right now?

What is this person’s education and life experience?

What is this person’s goals and primary focus or interest at work?

What motivates this person?

What is this person’s personality type?

How does this person like to receive information or feedback?

How would I feel if I were in this person’s shoes in a specific situation?

What outcome does this person seek?

What common ground do we share?

How can I make a situation better and more acceptable to them?

Learn to view the world through other peoples’ eyes and take their feelings into account in whatever you do.

4. Work on active listening skills

It’s impossible to understand someone else if you’re not listening to what they’re actually saying, instead prioritizing what you’ll say next. Focus on becoming an active listener.

5. Enhance communication skills

Work on communicating:

  • Clearly and carefully
  • Calmly
  • Concisely
  • Objectively (with a reliance on facts, not feelings, opinions or personal attacks)
  • Without interrupting

Think about the timing, place and medium of your communications, and how that impacts others and benefits certain situations. Are you acting appropriately and meeting others’ needs? Or, are you creating more stress in someone’s day with an ill-timed, poorly worded message?

Show interest in others—ask how they’re doing and, based on their responses, look for spoken and unspoken insights.

In conversations, don’t do all the talking—ask for others’ input and pay attention to their tone and body language.

This is all especially important in difficult conversations at work, whether it’s:

6. Manage stress

When we’re stressed, we live in the moment, just trying to get by to the next task. We often lash out at others, because we’re so focused inward on our own emotions and needs instead of on other people.

To be more emotionally aware of others, learn how to manage stress more effectively.

7. Make it part of regular training and development

Because it’s a highly necessary competency in any workplace, emotional intelligence should be a core component of your comprehensive training and development program – for both employees and leadership. This is your opportunity to:

  • Discuss with employees and managers the exact behaviors and character traits you want to see in them.
  • Explain how it impacts the overall business and team cohesion.
  • Practice the techniques we’ve covered here.

Your employees should be aware that demonstrating emotional intelligence is a prerequisite for moving upward in your organization.

8. Leverage free resources

Beyond company-delivered training and development, there are abundant free resources online to aid in cultivating emotional intelligence in people, from blog posts to articles, courses, quizzes and analyses. Encourage your people to access these materials to further accelerate their development of this skill.

9. Model it among leadership

If you want your employees to adopt a behavior or competency, it should be modeled from the top down of your organization. Discuss the need for leadership to consistently display emotional intelligence.

10. Vet prospective employees

Lastly, if you want your workforce to be emotionally intelligent, then it’s important that all incoming employees be screened for their mastery of this competency.

During interviews, examine each candidate’s:

  • Body language.
  • Eye contact.
  • Apparent interest and enthusiasm.
  • Responses to situational questions aimed at evaluating emotional intelligence. (Example: Tell me about a time when it was difficult to work with a co-worker and how you handled it.)

Summing it all up

Emotional intelligence in leaders and employees is one of the most in-demand competencies in today’s workplace, which are all about collaboration and relationships. Each person’s demonstration of emotional intelligence contributes to a more positive, healthy and functional workspace and culture. It’s also in each individual’s best interest to display emotional intelligence to advance in their career and enjoy personal success. Fortunately, there are 10 steps that business leaders can embrace quickly and easily to get started enhancing this competency.

For more information on how factors such as emotional intelligence contribute to an engaged, productive and harmonious workplace, download our free magazine: The Insperity guide to employee engagement.



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